if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
