Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
