I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The air was thick with penises
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
