I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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