Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
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