who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
