More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
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Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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