Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
