But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
