I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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