Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
