he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
