found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she smelled like a LAN party
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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