so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
