P.S. I can't hear my feet
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
