so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
