stop calling my apartment porn island.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
