i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Randomize
