OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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