I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
