normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
