well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
