He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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