I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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