he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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