I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize