singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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