you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
