How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
