A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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