there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
