I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
