Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
