She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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