She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
