She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
