you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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