It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
