Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
