i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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