For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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