I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
