So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
