so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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