you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
