Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
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Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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