we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize