im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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