I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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