The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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