Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
