how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
