I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
