How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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