we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
