I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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