p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
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If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
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Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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