There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can't put those talents on a resume
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
