no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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