He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
