so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
This house was built for laser tag.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
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