hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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