i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
